Lost and alone

Lost and alone
Walking through life
Don't even own
The things that I have
Tired and cold
Tripping through time
Don't even know
The things I've done
Mad and insane
Digging my grave
Not quite sure
If I want it dug
I drag my feet
Every step of the way
The mud gets deep
By the end of the day
Doesn't matter what you've got
The piper must be paid
And I'm hungry baby
For some home cooked food
But I can't eat
Because my spoons all burnt

Goodnight old man

Goodnight old man
Have a peaceful sleep
With a smile on your lips
And no pain in your heart
You did me right
That's for damn sure
Hope you have no regrets
Or should have done dreams
Because from what I've seen
You lived one hell of a life
Do not go quietly my ass
You go as quietly as you want
The last of the gentlemen
Turned your hand again and again
Always kept me fed
While you fed your head
You're a better man than I
And one day I'll cry
But for now I'll smile and say
Thank you for making me who I am

Packing bags close the door behind you

Packing bags close the door behind you
Take a long last look but don't look back
As you drive the winding way out
Make the turn north
You ain't never going back
Put some miles in to fill the void
Motor on my fragile girl
Keep driving keep the sun to your side
Keep on singing keep it all in stride
don't you lie down now
don't you lie down
don't fall apart on me
don't fall back on old ways
You know you've seen much harder times
Things have been blacker you've had harder climbs
But you always made it to the top
Make up that mind of yours
You ain't never going back
You've put some miles on your motor
But you shine brighter to me
Keep driving keep the sun at your side
Keep on singing keep it all in stride
Don't you lie down now
Don't you lie down
Don't fall apart on me
Don't fall back on old ways

Bipolar ?

Sorrow is everywhere
It is the soil in which life is grown
It is the air that we breathe
It is the colors of the autumn trees
It is with us always
To the very end
I embrace it every day

In this life you rarely find a love so true, lives so entwined
That words become your second voice
Pure emotion unconfined

Snakes and spiders in my legs

Snakes and spiders in my legs
There's a tiger in my brain
They won't let me sleep
God they won't go away
Tried to get some peace
On the shower floor
Water so hot I thought
Would wash me to sea
But they're still in there
Torturing me
Crawling around my bed
Picking at the wet sheets
Holding my stomach
Trying to keep it inside me
But there's demons in there
Pulling it through my pores
Snakes and spiders in my legs
Tiger in my brain
Won't let me sleep
God please take them away

The bigger shovel

You've got the bigger shovel
And you've dug the biggest hole
But I think you kinda like it
Down there among the mold
Where you're in complete control
If I lowered you a ladder
You wouldn't climb a rung
Because I think you kinda like it
Though he is a little young
I'll just hold my tongue
Sometimes everything you think you want turns out to be a curse
So I'm gonna walk away now baby
Because I don't want to make it worse
The lack of conversation will be easier to stand
Than the screaming and the ravings of the boy who plays the man

I'm sorry I'm not stronger

I'm sorry I'm not stronger
That I can't navigate this maze
Sorry I can't watch you
Waste the remainder of your days
But I've been led along too long
Follow at your heels
And I've got to make a change
Ignore the way I feel

Devil in my head

Devil slipped inside my head while I was paying no attention
Dealing with the daily grind of pretending to live life
Opened my eyes to let me see things for what they are
Gave me strength to stand alone and not care at all
Beating wings in my ears drown out petty sounds
Of petty people stabbing backs and dragging others down
His tongue flicks out of my mouth
Tasting the bitterness all around
Now it all makes sense
And none of it matters worth a damn

Only bet with what you're willing to lose

If you're ready to love
be willing to suffer
You cast the die
You had a lot riding on that roll
The odds weren't on your side
You lost a lot that day
You got nothing to bet with now
You're chips are gone
Might be time to walk away from the table
The house always wins
And it beat you again
Shoulda stood pat at 19
But you drew one more card
Now you're bust
With nothing to show
And the dealer pulls your life away
In one swift move
It's all gone baby
But you beat the odds for so long
You got nothing to regret
The going was good while it was on
The laughter was good while it was loud
Now you're just another face in the crowd

The tooth ache fairy

The tooth ache fairy
Comes to see
What's under my pillow tonight
But I haven't left that pixie
A thing
And she's not happy with me
She leaves me a broken heart
And a pain in my head
Tooth ache fairy
Strikes again
So now every day
I pull out a tooth
And leave it at the end of my bed
Just to keep
The tooth ache fairy
Out of my head
She beats me with her tattered wings
Tortures with her evil laugh
she reaches in my mouth
Sew my lips shut just to keep her out
Tooth ache fairy
Packs a mean punch
So now every day
I pull out a tooth
And leave it at the end of my bed
So the tooth ache fairy
Will stay out of my head

My best friend

Close your eyes and share a laugh
Or hold me tight and share a cry
Doesn't matter either way
Just another moment in the day
That proves
You are my best friend
Give me a look so I know
I don't need to say a word
Finish what I'm about to say
Just another reason I can say
See there
You are my best friend
There have been times
That I've felt you so far away
That it crushed my world
There have been times
That I've felt you so close
It scared me to my soul
Call me just to say goodnight
As you roll over and shut the light
Those green eyes hold me in their sway
People see it every day
They say
You are my best friend
I hear your name on every breeze
While I wipe a tear with my sleeve
Doesn't matter if you're far away
Things are made to be this way
You'll always be
My best friend

At the station

Somewhere a tear falls from a green eye
an eye that can not see
because night has fallen hard
whiskey splashes on the floor
soaking feet that can not move
they're stuck in a rut that's as deep as
the love I thought I felt
spent too much time east of the river
time to cross the bridge
but I'm standing at the station
and I can't get on the train
you hate me for it
a tear falls from a green eye
while more brown goes up a nose
let the mental midgets talk
til they're blue in the face
I think my black heart just stopped
cuz I spent too much time east of the river
and when the time came to cross that bridge
I made it to the station
but I couldn't get on the train
don't hate me for it
just look the other way
so I don't have to see
the tears falling
from those green eyes of yours

Be careful what you're looking for

Be careful what you're looking for
You just might find it boy
Then what do you do
Where do you go
Trying to hold on to
Something that's
Long long gone
A memory of something
You never really had
You'd need a lifetime of living
Just to understand
That you'll never
Be able to understand

You need to dip your toe in

You need to dip your toe in
Test the water
Make quite sure you don't get burned
This pond ain't that shallow baby
It's always been sink or swim with me
You spent the last two years treading water anyway
So take a breath come in
The water is fine
Make that leap of faith my dear
I promise it will be ok

Is it all you thought it would be

Is it all you thought it would be
Little man
Keeping a good woman down
Just to keep her around
Check the exits every chance you get
Make sure she's not trying to sneak away
But boy in her mind she's miles down the road
Driving with me
With the top down and freedom blowing in her hair
And a smile on her face
That you only know how to erase
Selfish little man
You're time is at hand
Cuz you can't keep a woman caged

It's the first day of the last days of my life

It's the first day of the last days of my life
I can feel it crawling closer
A shadow
Coming to take the pain away
To surround me with darkness and peace
And quiet
To silence the screaming in my head
The screaming that has always been there
To strip the pain away tear it from me
And let me sleep
And smile again

Such are promises

Such are promises
Made to be broken
Like the bonds of a heart
Too fragile to beat on it's own
And the only calming sound
Are waves crashing
On the rocky ground
Of a beach
That held so much more
Just a few short weeks ago
In the end
Words are just words
And mean as little
As a kiss
Blown in the wind
Now nothing can mend
This broken heart
That tries to sustain me

Like a river

Like a river
I always return to the sea
But coming home don't mean so much
Now that you're not here with me
The colors of tbe rocks don't shine
Without the sparkle in your eye
And in the waves I can only hear your sigh
I've thought about you many nights
Until I thought I might die
Life is one choice after another
And I think you made the wrong one again

I gave up what I did not want for something I will never have

I gave up what I did not want for something I will never have
And I've lost myself in the shuffle
I've lost my soul in the bags and boxes that surround my life
It's in there somewhere but I don't have the energy to look for it
Will someone write a song about me when I'm gone
Will I just fade away and be forgotten
I guess it doesn't really matter in the end does it

Poor little shepheard did you lose your lamb?

Poor little shepheard did you lose your lamb?
Never learned how to tend a flock?
It's no ones fault but your own
So let those tears flow
Youll sleep well tonight knowing
Your lamb is safely in my care

Nothing without you

Nothing without you

Many a lonely road
Dark and wet with summer rain
I have walked alone
More than one drink
I have drank alone
I thought that was all I needed
To keep me happy
Keep me satisfied
And for a long while it was
Now there's nothing without you
No sleep at night
Without you
No peace of mind
Without you
A shell of a man
One hell of a plan
My lifes in the can
There's nothing baby without you

I'll sort those stars out for you when they fall from your sky

I'll sort those stars out for you when they fall from your sky
They're closing in around you baby
They're coming rushing down
It's a long range life implosion
And you lit the fuse yourself
But I'll be standing next to you
When the pieces need picking up
You push push push
So it won't hurt
Because you're made of iron
But iron rusts
Back into earth

The end has begun in the middle of my life

The end has begun in the middle of my life
In a strange way it feels so right
Not exacty how I thought it might
But then again not perfectly sane
The beginning has ended without warning
Just was like this one early morning
Didn't see the thought forming
And it's sunny day beach warming

I walk through life between two walls

I walk through life between two walls
That are slowly closing in on me
Right and wrong good and bad
Squeeze together and blur into one
Gone in too far to turn around
And I still can't see the other end
So I stand alone where I am
And wait patiently for the walls

I am

I am
The wind that blew through your hair
I am
That thought that made you cry
I am
The fear that holds your tongue
I am
Your life when you want to die
Once upon a time
I had all the time to kill
Now my times is through
Once upon a time
Has never been so far away
I am
The throbbing in your head
I am
The biggest mistake you ever made
I am
Every regret you've ever had
I am
A memory that fades away
Once upon a time
Has just begun

The grand plans for my life

The grand plans for my life
That a teenage mind
Dreamed of day and night
Have drifted away
In mediocrity
Like so much smoke
That's a hard reality
To wake up to
Thought I was reaching for the sun
In the end seems it was just to hot

Chances are I will never see

Chances are I will never see
My life be what I want it to be
For time has passed with a blink of an eye and I simply don't care
enough to try

In every breaking wave I hear your laugh

In every breaking wave I hear your laugh
Hearty and full of honesty

Through glaring light of love I find

Through glaring light of love I find
My thoughts slip back to simpler times
When holes we dug weren't quite as deep
And through the night we both would sleep

I still remember a night

I still remember a night
That the sky was so full of stars
It looked like a blanket of snow
I stood behind you
With my arms wrapped tightly around your body
And we stared into the heavens
For what felt like a lifetime
Whispering beautiful words
That only we could share
Knowing that we had found each other
At last
I will always think of that night
And those stars
And the smell of your hair
The magic your voice held for me
But the memory will fade
As they always do
And be as lost as I am

For Rachael

For Rachael

Lifes a bitch when your body can't keep up with your mind
Keep out of the dark and you just might find
You can soar with the birds in the sky
When the weight of life has your back bowed
There's a Rae of light that'll soften your load
Nothing could bring that woman down
God I wish that smile was around
She's forever sixteen in my head
A passion for living kept her soul fed

Strip it down to bone boy

Strip it down to bone boy
And build it back up with stronger stuff
Cuz the skin you're in now ain't warm enough
To get you through the storms ahead
It's a skin I wore far too long
And when it starts to itch
It crawls
And you'll scratch til your bleeding
But it won't cure a thing
You don't need to know what you want right now
But know when you've had enough of what you have
Don't torture your soul just to prove you have one

My boy

My boy
You're lost in the woods but
Son you're not walking by yourself
I've spent many years in those woods
Christ they're dark
And the sun dont reach the forest floor
Listen for the whisper dancing in the trees
Boy here I am
Take my hand
Don't slap it down
And stumble around
Any longer than you have to
It's a crowded fucking forest kid
Though it may seem empty to you now
It's full of lost souls
Who could use a hand
Drop your shame in the leaves
And throw your pride to the wind
And take my hand
Don't slap it down
And stumble around
Any longer than you have to
Boy here I am

Brick by brick

Brick by brick
Bundles and bags
Sell my life for a weekend of nods

What a beautiful day

What a beautiful day
Sand dollars, sea glass and starfish
Long walk along long beach
Not a cloud in the wide blue sky
Water greener than your eyes
Little rivers drawing
Shadows in the sand
And a smile on your face

Sleep

I walked forever to watch the sun die behind the edge of the earth and
for darkness to wash over me like a warm blanket being pulled up to my
chin. And I stood and watched the night tighten it's grip and squeeze
the life out of an already dead sky. My hand stretched out and erased
the stars from where they were born and flicked the moon off into
space like a bug from a leg. So blank was the sky that nothing
remained to remind me of why I came and I closed my mind to the world
and slept in peace for once.

Emily queen of bunnies

Shes the hopping bunny queen
And everydays a dream
When she laughs at nothing much at all
A chair becomes her keep
With an ocean much too deep
For a tiny queen to ever hope to cross
The tea is poured at three
And I hope theres room for me
But unicorns and monkeys fill the chairs
The endless world of Emily
Swims on for an eternity
I pray that bunny always has her hop

Here I am again

Here I am again
I'm staring at the sun
Watch it as it burns my life
Into oblivion
I cast no shadow
I'm made of smoke
You can look right through me
Do you get the joke
Or is it just on me

Winter

The leaves fell as Persephone left for hell. Taking her beauty with
her, leaving barren winter behind. For a taste of pomegranate we bear
the bitter cold.

The Hole

Somewhere deep inside me there was a hole that had never been filled
It was where my soul emptied from me
Evaporating into the air
Rising off to nowhere
Not a single pill or powder could plug it
Yet I kept trying until I didn't even notice that it was there
And one day the hole was gone
Filled with love and trust
Comfort and an intimacy that I had never known.
And I am whole at last

She took my hand, we ran

She took my hand, we ran
Across fields of clover and mint
Toward the strawberry sky
Falling fast behind the trees
We fell at the edge of our lives
And sat for an eternity
Laughing about how much we cry
More stars in her eyes than in the sky
She threw her head back to scream
But did not make a sound
Shook the blonde out of her hair Time turned and ran

I miss your lips touching mine

I miss your lips touching mine
Your tongue gently licking
Slowly
The soft breath that blows into my mouth
The quiet purr of desire
Long slow kiss
So long ago

Through raging storm our ship has slipped

Through raging storm our ship has slipped
It's sails torn, rigging ripped
The deck awash with
With blood and tears
All is lost to oceans depths
The waves lash out with no repent
Grey green ocean malcontent
Splinter timbers broad and sound
Til not a nail is left unbent
Are any hands there left to fight
To bring them into far off bight
With white sand beaches bathed in light
And peaceful sleep is found
See there crawls on knee and hand
Two battered bodies towards the land
Exhausted try to understand
The storm that they've been through
Awake to find the tempest done
Burning in the morning sun
Love so strong won't be undone
By lifes simple storm
New life building now can start
With you closest to my heart
Never again to be apart
Love renewed by stormy seas

If ever your pain was so deep

If ever your pain was so deep
I'd pull from the spoon to make you sleep
Stab you in a pulsing vein
To take away the crushing pain
With one last kiss upon your lips
I'd breathe in deep as your life slips
Suck your grief into my soul
So you could sleep my love console
Forever keep your pain with me
So you could rest eternally
And all the days in peace you'd lay
As I lived mine in shades of black and grey

Sunday smile gone for a while

Sunday smile gone for a while
Wait in the back for me
Keep your head down
Don't look at the clowns
Save a space for me
Lock away the starry eyes
Don't let them see
Just another face in the crowd
When you look at me
Happy weighs so heavily
If you can't set it free
Swallow your feelings
Wash them down with tears
Swallow your feelings
Wash them down with tears
Another holiday passes by
An empty box in bows
Flowers thrown from the window
Dry on the side of the road
Forgotten writings in the glove box
No one will ever know
Steal a moment with some coffee
But it never goes slow
Happy weighs so heavily
If it's not allowed to flow
Swallow your feelings
Wash them down with tears
Swallow your feelings
Wash them down with tears

Tiny cup of Turkish tea

Tiny cup of Turkish tea
Bubble bubble boil for me
Boil away impurity
Take me where I need to be
Drop a bit of fluffy snow
Mix you now it's time to go
Sip you up you gently flow
That peaceful warmth you start to sow

All my loves

All my loves
All my regret
Every tear I've ever shed
I am the sum of all I've seen
Of all that I have said
All my lies
All my fears
Personas I have shed
Loves that once had meant so much
Before me now lie spread
All my joy
All my dreams
Paths I took instead
Chew me from the inside out
Are with me til I'm dead

The comfort of friendship

The comfort of friendship
Eases the soul
Like the first warm day
After a long winters cold
No work
Nothing owed
Leave your obligations home
Bring your smile
Your wit
Your woes
While I jot down
This bit of prose

Like leaves from a tree

Like leaves from a tree
We are blown into the sea
Carried by waves both fierce and calm
Until we meet
And caught in an eddy
We dance for a moment
Until the currents of our lives
Take us floating again
Into the endless ocean
Where we drift apart
Farther and farther
Until only the horizon remains

How do the waves draw you down

How do the waves draw you down
To walk across the sand
Watch their whitecaps break and crash
And make you feel a man
Is it the thunderous roar you seek
Or feeling all alone
Or do you wish to walk right in and sink into the foam

When two paths meet in a hectic wood

When two paths meet in a hectic wood
Forever
They become one
They may split
To skirt rocky terrain
One high
One low
Their courses parallel each other
Only to merge again
And dance
In the graceful fields of age

I'm the king of the junkies

I'm the king of the junkies
I have only one queen
She's a dirty little fairy
With tattered wings
In her right hand
She holds the moon
In her left
A needle and a spoon
Heroin for my soul

Will I be remembered

Will I be remembered
By the friends that I forgot
Am I just pretending
Being something I am not
Am I all I can be
Are we all I can be
Is life all just dreaming
Is life all just dreaming
City of graves rising into the sky
Headstone building mile high
Forgot to breathe while I cried
Forgot to live
I forgot to die
Will I be remembered
For being something I am not
Am I just pretending
To have the friends that I have got
Are you all I can be
You are all I can see
I am only screaming
I am screaming
Screaming

Our bipolar opposite fatal attraction

Our bipolar opposite fatal attraction
Never ceases to cause a reaction
You're pushing I'm pulling
You're up when I'm down
I'm north you're south
I smile you frown
So opposite in fact that we're
One in the same
No ones as good at playing this game
Youre in when I'm out
I'm quiet you shout
I bend while you're breaking
You're calm when I'm shaking
A perfect connection with no plan of action
Our bipolar opposite fatal attraction